Hanging out……..

………..with Ken / Dad / Grandpa 

We miss you!!!

💕LOVE YOU SWEETHEART 💕

T

 

5 years ... seems like yesterday....

 

5 years

I MISS YOU!!!

You’ve missed so much here physically on earth in five years! Our children and all their accomplishments!! Grandbabies that have grown up turning into young adults and the new ones being born!! I’ve missed sharing all that and so much more with you over these last 5 years!

I miss your hand in mine as we would walk the gravel road and talk about our kids and/or the plans for our future!

I miss your smile as I would look up from writing out the grocery list... and you would say how serious I looked planning out the family meals! You know how much I love to feed our kids!!

I miss how you would mispronounce words... and although I would laugh and correct you... you still mispronounced them. After a while it just became the new new way to say it! To this day Babybel cheese will never be pronounced properly by anyone in the family! .

I miss how you would hold me close during a storm in the middle of the night!

I miss our pot of coffee in the morning as we planned our day... and our glass of wine at night as we planned our future!

No matter which one of our kids I look at... I see you! There is a memory there!! A memory in their eyes... their smile... their laugh or their tears!

You gave everything to our family!! You loved our children so so much!! You loved me so deeply!! Your love for us was that unconditional Godly love!

5 years.... and I still don’t know how to do this “living without you” thing!!! I don’t like it ... and I don’t want to!!!

I MISS YOU MY LOVE

Memorial Day.............

 

Thankful.....................

 

Thankful for ...

*GOD! For without him... I wouldnt be here!

*COFFEE... need to say no more!

*my children!! Melvin - Christopher - Jamie - Patrick - Michael - Darielle ... I hope you all truly know how much I love you and cherish the fact that God Blessed me with you all in my life! I'm so proud of who you've become... with or without my parenting.

*my Grandbabies!! My world got so much more blessed with grandbabies!

*my mom!! My mom is everything to me!!!

memories!!! My memories are what I have left of my sweet man and my daddy!

*my Flower seed business. Keeps me busy and the extra money is nice!

*for Zach coming into our lives! I couldnt be more proud you!! Look at all you are doing!

*friends and family! So many of you that are so loving and supportive! Thank you!!

God Bless you ALL!!!

7Darielle Rose, Jamie Christine Weyers and 5 others

Craig Morgan - "The Father, My Son and The Holy Ghost" | Live at the Opr...

God Bless

Surprises in the search..............

 Was out looking up the Baseball schedule for the home games at Werner Park for the Omaha Storm-Chasers .....

And seriously.... this was out in the searches.

Patrick - your famous! - Your dad would flip out to see this

#Carlton73 #3up3down #DominicanRepublic

God Bless you all

Tammy 💕

~ Happy Birthday ~

 

Another Birthday goes by that I cant spoil you by making your favorite dinner... going to a movie and eating the most buttery popcorn... baking your favorite cake... snuggling in to watch our favorite crime show and telling you how much I love you! I miss you so much Ken!! Every year it hurts more not having you here! There are so many days I still dont understand why God needed you home! Happy Birthday in Heaven my love!!!

~ ich liebe dich ~

Thankful Thursday....

☕

You know, we're supposed to thank God all times - for all things. And sometimes we don't feel very grateful or thankful. And yet, as God's children, we are to thank Him all the time and to thank Him for everything. Ephesians 5:20 says, "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." When he says giving thanks always for all things, that makes it a little difficult. That brings up some real questions. There are some very bad things that happen to a child of God. Sickness, sorrow, disappointment, death, divorce, abuse, murder, rape, and mayhem. Why does God allow these things, and how can we possibly give God thanks always and for all things?

Sin: Why do hard things happen? Very frankly, we live in a world that is cursed with sin, and therefore filled with sorrow.

Dependency: Sometimes God allows us to have problems to cause us to depend upon Him.

Maturity: When you have difficulty, you learn more during those times than you learn in the good times.

Patience: When bad things happen to you, inexplicable things, could it be that God is just simply working patience in you?

Ministry: Things that happen to you may happen to you to enable you to minister to other people.

Glory: When we suffer and yet keep praising God, it gives God glory.

*The struggle is real for me right now! Desperately trying to pray through it!!

God Bless you all

God Only Knows.......

.......indeed!!!!

God Bless you all

Tammy 💕

.:: Happy Birthday.....................

 ................... to my sweet Son-in-law!!!

I love you so much and am so very happy you are a part of our lives!

I sure do hope you have the bestest day ever!!!

Love you Jared!!!

God Bless you 

-mom💗

Good Day to get back at church......

....... in person!!!

Praise God!
Great Service!!

Tammy💕

Todays Service can be seen HERE

*Happy Birthday .............

 .................to this sweet boy!

I'm so happy you came into our lives!   May God Bless you beyond your wildest dreams!

#TheAndWe :)

Love you Zach!!

God Bless

Tammy 💕

for KING & COUNTRY - TOGETHER (feat. Kirk Franklin & Tori Kelly)

God Bless

💗

My journey..... day 4

 ☀️☃☕️ ~ Good morning......

Its snowing out this morning and suppose to snow all day.  Looks cold out there through my hospital window.  Brrr.    Its not really very warm here in my room either though.   Why is it that hospital rooms are so cold?   hmmmm?     

Doctors have been in and shared some good / bad news with me.   So... they know what's wrong with me... Good news.   Looks like my Liver is pretty sick... Bad news!   I will have to have more tests done to determine just how sick.... but they are tossing around the possibility of needing a transplant.  Not sure how I feel about this news today... kind of alot to take in when you're in the hospital alone.  But with all things big and small.... trusting God with this is what I will do!!!

Looks like they are going to let me go home today.  I'm so glad... I really need to be around my family!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The enemy uses our past to cause confusion and disorder in our lives.  He is the record keeper of  the past. He torments us with feelings of shame... guilt... condemnation and a host of other seriously awful feelings.  He loves to remind us of things we have done to keep us from feeling deserving of God's love and grace.  Even things we may have had no control over ... he will use to make us feel at fault.  He's good at making us feel like we deserve all the bad things that happen to us.  I'm struggling with that right now.  I have to fight him off to keep from believing that its my own fault I'm sick and I deserve to suffer.

Thus... he has succeeded at keeping me away from God several times!  Of course that's the trigger for the enemy.  The closer we get to God the more the enemy will whisper lies to you.
Until we remove that power from the past ... the enemy can always use it to drive a wedge between us and God!

Now.. how about the actual past... that luggage we carry for years... the mistakes, scars, hurt, and betrayals.  We take it from relationship to relationship... or keep it buried somewhere deep down inside.  It's the  'chains' we often hear about.
As for my past / my chains... I was the person who felt I was the exception to grace.  I could not be forgiven.  The more I tried to to get it together.. the worse it got.

When we look at the Bible... we see God giving us story after story of hot messes.. people who were murderers, adulterers, liars, thieves, cheaters, people that were full of mess and sin... and God not only forgave them but then used them for amazing purposes.

Don't you think there is a reason that many of those stories are shared throughout Scripture?  Don't you think there is a reason that He tells us what those sins were?

He didn't' just say Paul did some things that we won't talk about.... no... Paul murdered Christians.

Scripture doesn't state... Peter said some things that were hurtful... no... Peter denied Jesus Christ three times.

God tells us the depths of these sins so we can see that there is nothing too great that the blood of Jesus cannot wash clean!  You cannot surprise someone who knows your story beginning to end.. and carrying it with you is like saying  that what Jesus did on the cross wasn't good enough.  So... time to check that baggage ASAP!

For some.. our mess.. later becomes a message God wants us to use for someone else walking thrugh a similar situation.  But if we are too paralyzed with guilt and too ashamed to talk about it... the enemy has the power over us and we could  be missing out on opportunities to share our testimony.

The wiser I become (older I get) the more I have learn to appreciate that the greatest things in life are the ones that take work, risk, sacrifice, and are sometimes scary.  But in the end.. offer the greatest reward.

The more I glorify God for His grace and mercy in my weakness.. the less useful it becomes to the enemy.  Satan cannot torment me with ta past I use asa testimony to glorify our King!

Being vulnerable is scary.  Our sins may be different... but every Christian has a past.  If Jesus Himself were to say today as He did back then... "let he without sin cast the first stone" ... not a single soul could even pick up a shadow of a pebble. It's the beautiful part of grace and the connection we must all acknowledge in our walk together.

If there are pieces of your past that you cannot let go... maybe it is becasue God is pushing you to turn your  mess into your message.

God Blessings to you all!

Tammy 💕

My Journey..... day 3

☕️🌨 Good morning everyone .....

Didn’t sleep much.... but that’s okay... nothing really new for me!

Had breakfast... took a shower and took my meds... I’m ready for the day of more tests.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance..." (James 1:2)

Consider it joy... easier said than done sometimes.  You see... its simple to praise God through the celebrations of life, but praising Him through the storm is where your measure of faith is strengthened.

We are literally told we are going to go through it!  And in those times we need to be honest... with ourselves.. God and those we call on for prayer about where we are in our trials!  We are all a work in progress and that is where the transparency in our walk... asking for prayer and talking to God comes into play.  The key is practicing our faith and being transparent on our journey, so when we struggle... our faith support can stand in the gap,

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trials because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those that love Him." (James 1:12)

Oh... right... crown of life... eternity... with God... definitely want that!  Trials.. worth it!

People use to ask me when Ken was sick... when are you going to have your breakdown?  I'm now getting that question from the few I've shared my trial with personally.   In fact... this question was and has been asked so often... I honestly wonder... maybe I am in denial and don't know it... I mean that is what denial is.  But I'm not in denial, I'm standing in faith!

This issue with my liver could make life much harder ... yes,  but I serve a God that tells me regardless of what life throws at me ... He has me!

I have learned that faith is like a muscle... the more you use it... the stronger it becomes!  I still have to check myself about things from time to time...
Have I prayed about it as much as I've talked ab out it?
Have I looked in the Word before asking the world?

Faith in God will order your steps to ensure you are provided the tools to be prepared.

God definitely ordered my steps to prepare me for this marathon before I even knew it was coming .. in the messages preached at church!

I know I  will need a plan to ensure I will stay positive and keep myself in faith throughout this illness of whatever it is.  I am going to start writing again.  Every time I'm feeling down... overwhelmed... or my thoughts become negative I will write something regarding my walk with Christ.

He turns messes into messages every single day!  And this is just the beginning of this testimony.  We aren't promise a life absent of struggle.  We are promised a life with God!  Stand in your faith and watch Him deliver, every... single... time!

God Bless you all...

Tammy 💗

My Journey....day 2

 Evening everyone......

How are all of you doing!  Hope your day was awesome!

I slept okay last night.  

I had a day full of tests today! So far what the doctors are seeing are issues with my liver.  So... more tests tomorrow.  They started me on some meds today.... diuretics and antibiotics.   I’m feeling better today... but definitely not myself !  I’m so tired ... my body is just exhausted!  

But .... with all things... I trust the Lord!  I know no matter what He will be with me every step of the way!  My God is amazing and will never leave me!  

Well everyone.... I’m going to shut off the lights and try to rest.

I’ll update you more tomorrow!

Sleep well 

God bless

Tammy 💕

My journey......

 Good evening  everyone.....

I hope everything is well with you all! 

Today has been a long and emotional day!  My mom took me to the hospital this morning as I haven’t been feeling well!  I have put on weight but haven’t been eating much... it’s been getting difficult to breathe and I have been just overall not feeling right.  

After a day of IVs ...meds and tests... they determined that the weight gain was edema ( water weight ).  So... they conducted a procedure to drain the fluid off me.  They took 11 lbs off.  I already feel better but there is still much to do to get me well again!

The doctors and nurses have been so wonderful!  I actually felt good enough to eat.  I had a nice dinner and was able to relax for once in a long time!  

So with that my dear friends and family.... I’m going to actually try and catch a little sleep.

I’ll continue to check in and post as I travel this journey God has allowed me to take on!

God Bless you all 

Tammy ❤

Lonely...........

 “They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Revelation 12:11

The worst kind of lonely for me is being surrounded by people and yet still feeling utterly alone.

I can feel it at a restaurant full of noise and activity and people talking loudly over one another. I can feel it in a mall bustling with crowds and overhead announcements and music meant to move everyone along. I can feel it even in a house full of voices I know with all the typical background noises of this place I call home.

The world is spinning, people are connecting, and music is playing … and there I am in the middle of it all, smiling on the outside but crying on the inside.

It’s like one of those Broadway show moments when all the other actors are frozen in a moment of activity, but the spotlight gets thrown on the unsuspected girl stage left. She sings a sorrowful solo about all that’s going on inside her world. And the brokenhearted ballad strikes a chord inside the part of us that feels so very alone as well. We swallow hard, because it could so very easily be us singing that same song in the midst of the crowds of our life as well.

Never have I understood this feeling more than when my husband passed away and I was left alone.

Part of the problem was I didn’t know exactly what was going on. But the other part of my silence was because I wasn’t sure what to say or who was safe to say it to. So I just walked through my days pretending to connect with others while feeling so very isolated.

This is a huge tactic of the enemy. He knows if he can isolate us, he can influence us. He can make us so consumed with the hurt and convinced it will never get better that we miss one of God’s greatest gifts. God created us to do life in a community of believers where we can go stand on someone else’s faith when our own gets shaky. People who can help us see the hope in the midst of our hurts. 

We need each other.

God designed us to help each other.

Who do you need to share your tears with? Who needs to know they aren’t alone?

I know how hard it is to open up about our deepest disappointments. I deeply understand how terrifying vulnerability can be. But I also know there’s someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours. And when you make one other human simply see they aren’t alone, you make the world a better place.

God Bless

Happy Birthday to my son..............

 

To My Sweet Boy….

Wherever your journey in life may take you …. I Pray you’ll always be safe

Enjoy the ride that God has planned for you and never forget your way back home

I’m always here for you

Love, Mom

Grace can be hard.............

 ⛄☕  Good Morning everyone..............

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 

Sometimes God’s Word can feel like an impossible order, don’t you think? Take today’s passage for example: Paul tells us we are to let our words be gracious. I love that the NIV actually reads “full of grace.” Full of it. As in, the bulk of our words should be made up of grace toward the person with whom we are conversing.

Not partial grace. Not halfway grace. All the way grace.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried this, but it’s hard.

It’s hard when it could be one of the people living in your house gets on your last good nerve. It’s hard when a trusted friend or family member deeply wounds you.  And it’s incredibly hard when people share their thoughts and opinions so freely and carelessly on social media. Offering thoughts and opinions that can leave you feeling frustrated, angry or even personally attacked.

I don’t know about you, but words laced with grace aren’t typically the first ones that come to mind when someone’s hurtful words have landed like daggers in my heart. I want to defend myself. And point out how they’re misunderstanding my intentions.

But just because speaking with grace is hard, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. And Paul’s words to the Colossians remind us that our words matter.

Paul specifically wants us to consider our words in light of unbelievers, telling us in Colossians 4:5-6, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

And look at how Jesus models grace and truth in John 1:14, which says, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (NIV). Every instance in the New Testament where we see grace and truth together is always connected to Jesus.

We are to be people of truth with grace-filled words. People who choose healing and helpful words. Because whether we realize it or not, believers and unbelievers alike are listening intently to the words we speak. They’re reading the words we type. And our words testify to the kind of relationship we have with Jesus and the kind of effect He has on our hearts.

So where is the hope in the midst of words that make our pulse race and our face flush? How do we keep our words full of grace?

We remember that Jesus doesn’t offer us partial grace. He doesn’t offer us halfway grace. Jesus gave, and continues to give, all-the-way grace. Grace that took Him all the way to the cross.

Oh, how we need to let this truth interrupt us and redirect us. The divine grace we receive from Christ should fuel our gracious natures and fill our conversations. Because we are people who desperately need grace, we should be people who lavishly give grace.

And not only are we to be gracious in our speech, Paul also tells us our words should be “seasoned with salt.” Paul was reminding the Colossians they were called to be people filled with godly wisdom. To be able to respond to objections to the gospel in a manner that was winsome. He wanted their words, and ours, to attract people to Christ, not repel them.

I don’t know who puts grace to the test in your life, sweet friend. But I do know the Holy Spirit is willing to help us choose grace-filled words, if only we will pause long enough for Him to replace the first ones that may pop into our brains.

We can also go ahead and pre-decide that today, because of the lavish grace of Jesus, we will choose the way of grace. With His help, we can speak with honor in the midst of being dishonored. We can speak with peace in the midst of being threatened. We can speak of good things in the midst of bad situations.

We can choose words that won’t leave the bitter taste of regret in our mouths. Words seasoned with the salt of wisdom and full of the grace of Jesus.

**Father God, thank You for Your Son, Jesus. He could have held back His grace. But instead, He chose to pour out every single drop for me at Calvary. May Your grace be what pours out of me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.**

Blessings to you all

Tammy

Grace...........................

 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23

By nature, we human beings, we are drawn to keeping records and “gaining credit” through good works. That’s the way we are wired. And that’s why the gospel of grace is so difficult for some people to accept. All of us struggle with this. We mark and remember good things we’ve done and never seem to forget bad things done to us. Enter the first of January, when we make resolutions and keep records on ourselves! When we fail (as we certainly do), we get really tough on ourselves—or give up the good resolution altogether. At this time of year, it’s good to remember today’s Scripture: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Every day the Christian life begins with a new experience of the mercy of God. The faithfulness of God—not our own faithfulness—is our great hope.*

Dear God, I just want to lift my voice and sing, “Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!” Thank You for Your multiplied mercies toward me. Thank You for forgiving me, restoring me, healing me, and resetting my life direction again and again!

Many Blessings

Tammy

New Year... New Day...

 ☕  Good Morning all...........

I do hope your New Year has started out good!   So far so good for me.  There's alot going on in my life these days.  Some of its Great ... some is ... well.... could be better.    But that is all a part of life now isnt it!?   We have good and bad days... good and bad moments in life .   That's why its so important to stay close to God.   He will share in our joy during the good times and walk us through the bad times.

This year I feel is a year to really start fresh.  Life continues to be so hard with my husband gone.  But I know I need to make a better effort to plan what years I have left here on earth to live for myself and my kids!   I dont know how successful I will be... but with God walking along side me.... I cant go wrong.

The weather has been pretty decent here considering the good amount of snow we got last week.  But it is winter ...so the snow will happen.. :)   I'm just so happy I was able to have my children around me at Christmas.... well... except for one.   He's stationed in Japan... so couldnt come home.  I miss him so much.  Maybe this Christmas.

Well... my dear friends and family.... 
I'm going to end here for today.... just wanted to reach out and say good morning and have a blessed day!

Many Blessings to you all

Tammy

Starting Fresh with a New Year

 

 Many Blessings

Tammy