Happy New Year!!!

Well.... I know I'm a few days late........ I do hope you will forgive my absence. We took off on a trip to Arizona to have Christmas with Ken's family. Then off to LasVegas to spend time with Ken's grandparents. It was a Great trip! I loved seeing the family.... the boys loved spending time with everyone ... seeing new things... enjoying the weather.. .and Ken loved being able to spend time with his family. I have to be honest... as much as I loved spending time with this part of my family... It was the hardest Christmas since Daddy died. As hard as I tried to put on a happy face... I know my broken heart showed through.... with my moments of distance and quick to snap attitude due to not having any other way to shed it. Being shut out of some of 'my' families lives makes it really hard to feel loved through the holidays. No matter how much my husband and kids try to show me love... the pain of others seem to take over during Christmas.

Here is Ken with his boys.............. bunch of handsome guys they are ... huh?!!!!


Ken's Grandparents with the boys. I love this picture! I love you Grandma and Grandpa!!!

This is a picture of Ken's folks with they grandboys.

*Patrick, Grandpa, Kenyon, Grandma, Michael w/Olivia, Kain, and David.

Yes........... you are looking at a picture I took of the boys in the back of the van playing RockBand (which they got for Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa Carlton) Patrick on Guitar.. David on drums... and Michael singing away. This was our entertainment on the trip home.
We drove over/through/around Hoover Dam. Stopped to take a few pictures and I managed to get in one... heheheheee

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” Colossians 3:13

The words, "...our wonderful and close relationship would end like this." followed by a phone call of "she needs closure" ... pierced my heart. It was an intense personal knife. These words came from ones I love. I didn’t understand. I still cannot comprehend the cold, unfeeling words written and said by ones who had always demonstrated a gentle and kind personality. The hurt haunts my thoughts. I question, “Why?” At times, I want to retaliate with my own bitter words. Sharp retorts spring to mind, but then the Spirit of God whispers, “Forgive.”This brings to mind one of my favorite stories in the Bible when Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone. Thinking he would impress Jesus with his own willingness to grant forgiveness, he asked, “Seven?” I think Jesus probably smiled as He replied, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:22).” Oh, how I wish I could have seen Peter’s face.

As I reflect on this each day, I long to follow the model of Jesus. People smirked, ridiculed, and laughed at Him. His disciples often misunderstood Him. The religious leaders criticized Him. However, no matter how people treated Jesus, He never retaliated. He responded with gentleness and love.

Forgiving someone can be difficult, especially when you feel you are innocent in the situation. With invitation after invitation to school events... cards and Christmas gifts sent.... I receive No response. Nothing from them!! How can you shut someone out of your life like that? How can ones heart become so cold? Whatever happen to 'unconditional love'? Nonetheless, God’s truth doesn’t change, for even in difficult situations His command is to forgive. He commands us, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3).

With those thoughts, I will “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” It will not be easy and will require much prayer to keep my hurt pride from lashing out at my loved one. Although the words, “She needs closure” still do not make sense to me, *I'm Not Dead!* I will decide not to hold on to my personal hurt. I will personally forgive as Jesus has asked me to do.

Lord Jesus, enable me to forgive those who hurt me. Remind me to keep the unity of peace as far as it is within my ability. Grant me an extra measure of the Holy Spirit to love those whom I need to forgive. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

So... with that... I move into this New Year with more determination to try harder to stay focused on my God. Thanksgiving.. Christmas and New Years came and went with some of my family shutting me out. Its going to be a bumping ride this year... but I have to take it! As long as I stay focused on God ... He will get me through it! I will stumble... and have bad days... but Praise God .. He is there to pick me up.

Huge hugs... lots of love... and Bountiful Blessing through this New Year!

**For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
~ 2 Corinthians 4:17**